I get a particular type of mail, on a fairly regular basis. Goes something like this:

"I'm working on a project ....."

It goes on to say that it's going to have revolutionary characteristics. Such as all manner of power adjustments. It's going to have electronic cocking. Be "at least" semi-auto. Going to have all sorts of sophisticated ammo handling machinery. Amazing ranging and aiming devices.

Then ... it comes to the part ... "Sadly ... I don't know how the basic designs work". Then, there's the request for me to explain to them ... how the old fashioned, childishly simple, backwoods, knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, airguns 101 models (which I make) actually work.

They always include some cad-cam files with fancy multicolor "blobs" labeled ... "power thingie" ... and "loading whatchamacallit". Just to show that they are serious contenders. After I provide them with complete mechanical drawings of the pathetic things I make ... they will refine my crude attempts ... and add in all the ... ah ... time warp capacity, etc., features ... themselves.

At the end, I'm offered an opportunity to be allowed to work on such a horizon expanding project. Perhaps push back the curtain of ignorance which has obscured my vision until now.



Got another one .... just a while ago, in fact ...

Gary

Gary,

Offer an opportunity to attend a seminar in Maryland. Fly in, weekend in a local hotel, 8 hours over the weekend in a conference room with instruction and a take home packet.

Pre-register and if you get enough attendees you'll notify them. $3k + air and accommodations.

Lon

Hi Lon,

Great idea!

But - you don't expect me to work for eight hours for $3k ... do you?

Ah ... wait ... minimum attendance requirements ... you've covered all the bases. Perhaps ... minimum of 10 ... to give up a Saturday of exciting shop work.

I'd need a booking agent .... I wonder if Carnival would handle the logistics ...

Gary



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/08/2011 04:55PM by barnespneumatic.

Electronic cocking eh? Sign me up!

-- Jim

Jim, Lon,

Do you think we could put together a "virtual tour and lessons?" Can we charge $3000 a session? Do we have to pay Gary?

Jerry,

I'm thinking Kent and I can fake the lathe stuff. You only show the hands and we'll wear gloves.

Lon

Don't even need the gloves, what you've gotta get is "booth babes". Just hire on a couple of highly silicone-ized young female "spokesmodels" in tight dresses to stand around "assisting" while you're working the crowd, and you could substitute Pee Wee Herman for Gary without anyone noticing in the slightest. At least, that's what seems to be the dominant theme at the auto shows, the electronics conventions, defense industry get-togethers, you name it. All you gotta do is capitalize on the fact that men turn stoopid around pretty girls and you can get away with pretty much anything as far as stretching the facts and altering the truth goes.

Now that I think about it, I'm kind of surprised that they haven't tried that in Congress yet. Perhaps it's the fact that fact stretching and truth alteration are such a core competency in DC that nobody thinks they need any help with it.

Gary,

You should set up an Engineering Consulting Service to refer these interested parties to. For a $25K retainer, you will review their design and provide feedback. For $50K you will correct their design and provide corrected drawings, and for $100K you will also provide a working prototype of the corrected design. I know that's not much to one such as yourself, and it would lack the pleasure from spanding all day in the shop, however, it might be something to do when you are under the weather. Who knows, you might get a serious bite.

Keith

Hello Keith,

On a few occasions, I've been contacted by persons claiming to represent larger concerns. Asking for help with design, and consultation. As soon as ANY compensation came up ... they ran for the tall grass. One was representing themselves as designing something for the Navy. Some sort of gun that might fire underwater. Another had the idea of deploying a safety chute to bring down a light plane. It would seem, that neither could even offer a cuppa for the information they requested.

On one occasion, I did manufacture a pneumatic trainer to fit inside a decommissioned 9mm semi-automatic ... to be used with a lifesize reactive video training set up. For that, I was paid - enough to make it worth while.

Gary

Gary,

I know what you mean. We seem to have the same problem with providing IT services. There is a line of people wanting us to do work for them, until we talk money and they get all upset that we want more then $10 an hour, or that we are not will to put our effort into their project for a piece of the action. What I can't understand is why people get so upset when you don't want to buy into their idea. I had one customer get all bent out of shape after I told him we would be happy to design his application to his specifications, however, one ithe work was accepted, we would charge by the hour to make changes or update the software after some third party changes the platform and the OS manufacturer update breaks the application. For some reason he thought we should create his application for minimum wage and then provide free support for the rest of our lives. The strange part is, he truely stands to make millions; many millions, but he does not want to pay us for the work. Our business mentor, who is a VP at a technology company, believes this guy is going to hit the jackpot with this effort if he can get it to the next phase. It's sad.

That 9mm conversion sounds cool, one of these days you need to tell us about it.

Keith

Hi Keith,

I'm lounging around, drinking coffee, while the shop gets above 40 degrees. Ha ... the leg feels improved ... but the shoulder is killing me. Too much raising of coffee cups ... I suppose.

Your experience is the result of the "entitlement society", I firmly believe. Ties in to the "free knowledge" line of thinking. Ties in to the "equal outcome" line of thinking. The very idea that you should be gifted in your field, driven to excell, have an attention span long enough to problem solve, and also have the very GALL to ask for compensation above a couch potato .... is foreign to about 65% + of the population.

Actually, since we are griping ... .... one of the downfalls which I NEVER saw coming with my Standing Stone Airgun Festivals was .... the fact that: so many did not like the idea of competition. "Somebody has to win .... ...... it's just not right .."



And so .... nobody wanted to play any of the games and tournaments that were set up. All they wanted to do was hang at the sight in range and plink. Cost me thousands of dollars, and months of work, so they could come shoot soda bottles and dandelion stems.

Then, I tried an "Auction" once. Several of my guns. Mostly reconditioned pcs. Nobody wanted to bid against each other. They met, off to the side, and decided who would buy what.

Competition has pretty much been educated out of the country.

But ... that's just one man's humble opinion.



Gary

Ironically, it is far easier now than it has ever been throughout the course of human history to obtain all of this "free knowledge," yet humans are lazier and more distracted than they have ever been. And yeah, we're all equals -- until you compare our work ethic and math / science test scores to the Chinese. And finally, there's not enough "quiet" -- we're constantly interrupted by something, usually electronic in nature. Sometimes, you gotta go to the top of the mountain and be a monk.

-- Jim

Gary,

I never made it to your Standing Stone event, now I really wish I had. Karl tried to get me to go to your last one, but I lacked the time and money. I could have brought along Alice and we could have cleaned up. Well, at least Alice would have. And I could have won an auction to boot. I love auctions, until they pass my price point, but they are still fun.

Keith