The world, as we've known it, is coming to an end.

No ... I'm not wearing a sandwich board. Heck ... I wouldn't even have the TIME to make a sandwich anymore. Has anyone recently purchased a new toaster? Well, be prepared for a shock.

Kelly decided it was time. So, she purchased a nice new stainless four slice GE. Let me tell you ... America will pay off it's national debt before that thing would burn a slice of toast. Or even darkly toast one. It was the most pathetic, helpless, miserible tool I've ever owned. You could look into the slots, with the thing on full afterburner .... and barely see the coils glow.

So .. we figure it has to be damaged. Well, Kelly suspected it must be damaged. I smelled foul. Fortunately, we'd bought it from Wally World ... so they took the thing back. Although the helpful service desk girl suggested that she never actually WAITED for her toast. Evidently she likes cold toast. Nothing would surprise me. Cold toast will most likely be legislated soon, in the interest of energy conservation.

Well, the MAN of the house suggested the next toaster, I'll tell you!! "Ah ... sugar ... would you maybe, perhaps, possible want to maybe consider this here toaster machine .... sugar???" hahahah. A stainless (she wanted stainless) two slice Oyster. So ... we get the thing home. If anything, it is more feeble than the GE .... and I didn't think it was possible!!!!!

Kelly went to the net ... and there's actually people talking about the scandal. Evidently it's epidemic!!!!! The %$^&*() have evidently met behind closed doors AGAIN .... and decided we can't be trusted to toast bread now!!!!!! AHhhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhHHHHGHGHGHG!!!!!!!! Will it EVER END?????????!!!!!

Good Grief.

So; I guess we're off to the mission store to buy a toaster from 1950. Better save yourself, and start hording them! In fact .... I might make a nice trade valve for a classic REAL toaster ..... hummmmm

Gary

Oh ... wait till the lady at Wally World sees us with another toaster box ... in line at the return counter .... heheheheh

Maybe you need to wire the kitchen for 220 (or 221, whatever it takes) and then plug the new "safe" toaster into the "toaster" outlet.

I think I need to take it to the range!

hahahahah

Gary

I have a funny feeling you don't want to make english muffins at the range...

i got a dualit 6 slice toaster of e bay , polished it up , cleaned it , fitted a new timer , total cost about 35 sterling , cost new 235 sterling , it makes nice toast , but while i was fixing up my new old toaster i went to argos , a catalouge store here in uk ,and bought a new new toaster , granted only a 2 slice , but ,,,, brand new 2pounds 60 pence , thats less than the price of either a pint of beer or a burger ,,, that was new in a box a years warranty with a plug fitted.
its crazy what things dont cost.