If you don't like reality, change the channel here. This post will cover a few things that have been piling up.

Sure ... get a cuppa coffee. Something stronger might be better.

Let me start out by saying that there are quite a few people, on my ledger; who write and ask me how I'm doing. Some do so on a fairly regular basis. Quite a few tell me that they actually pray for me ... and I believe they do. I sincerely appreciate it too ... very much. Some have been doing this for years. So; I know that they have a family member who suffers from this. Or a family member who deals with a chronic problem. Some have shared situations which they are dealing with. To make it short ... they've "humanized" me. Shown me friendship. Shown me some dignity.

People are not all alike. I get e-mails. E-mails that people would never say to my face. They wouldn't do that for several reasons. First ... I'm evidently still an imposing old broken down hulk. And they aren't so sure they really want to take the chance. haha. Secondly; they wouldn't say it to my face because society still has just the smallest remaining set of rules. People don't like to make a scene. But they have no restraints when they are typing. And so; I get these e-mails. They start off ripping me a new one because it's been X number of years since they HEARD from me. Of course, I've answered each mail they ever sent within a few hours. If they haven't HEARD from me, it's because they haven't WRITTEN to me. They FOUND me on the net. They did whatever business we discussed, through e-mail. But ... from then on ... they've just sat there silently ... and stewed ... and boiled. And quietly read a few lines once in a blue moon. Not commented or contributed anything ... just read and sneered. They're being "ignored" you see. The nearly five thousand posts I've made in the last three years were NOT for them. They were NOT going to be lowered to read the things I posted for the whole Barnes community every day. They read every word I wrote, UNTIL the day their schedule was interrupted. Now, they demand personal attention. It's my punishment for having my life screwed up beyond recognition, with chronic pain. So; when they do write, they start with the exact duration of their wait. Spat out as if it should drip off my black tie outfit, and splash into my martini. They aren't speaking to a human being. Not a friend who pushes through misery in order to work late into the evening.

They are "frustrated" you see. DO something.

As I reflect ... I'm frustrated too. About many things. And, I can difinitively state that it does not hurt one tenth of one percent as much as laying in bed, gritting your teeth against the agony that won't pass before the darned pills kick in. Waiting does not hurt - unless you are waiting in pain. Pain hurts. I don't drag myself around this site bleeding all over everybody every day. I'm told I write pretty well. Enjoy it, or hate me for it ... but it's a mixed blessing. Because if I don't SOUND like I'm dying .... then clearly I'm ignoring someone. If I make a witty comment ... then I MUST be having the time of my life. Nobody is going to check the time stamps and see that the thing I posted for everybody's entertainment and for the Barnes Community to see ... was posted at midnight ... just after I closed up the shop for the day.

Where is the extra time and energy? Where is the secret to being healed and energized again? Where is the crystal ball to tell me how productive I will be over the next six months ... so I can instantly foretell exactly where a given partially completed project stacks up in the total orbit of projects?

Do people really think that these mails help me work better? Make me more inclined to work until midnight ... taking pain pills ... and dealing with the rest ... in order to work on the gun for the guy that just tore me a new one? Set aside the project for the guy that's taken the time and has the interest to ask how I'm doing? Ignore the guys that I know are praying for me ... so I can service the "frustration" of the guy that just treated me like something to be scraped off a boot.

It's part of the whole Barnes thing. Believe me ... it's not just all people telling me I'm talented. How many ... percentage wise of the total number of projects ... do you think are required to just keep you feeling like total crap as you work? Yeah ... it's Christmas. Someone is sitting at home ... on their day off ... and writes to me (who's working) because they are totally fed up with the holidays ... looking for something to kick ... and .... BARNES!!! crosses their mind. Someone's got a ton of crap on THEIR plate and three levels of supervisors are leaning on them to do the impossible ... so ... BARNES!!! ... that creep is gonna HEAR about it.

If you want to write ... please write. Drama is not required to get a reply. Most are surprised when they get an answer. Try it with any other company you deal with. If someone wants to chew me out ... I'll still answer quickly. I won't just sit there and take a pounding. As I've said before: I didn't plan this. I didn't get injured doing some stupid stunt for glory. I don't gamble and chase women. I'm not a druggie. I'm working my buttstock off to meet my obligations. Just because I don't sound stupid, or sick, or slur my sentences ... doesn't mean I'm not dealing with the absolute ruin of my health and drain on my energy. Some people feel stronger if they kick things. I understand that ... don't admire it much ... but understand it.

Most people can see the work I'm producing. If they bother to read - even once a month ... they can see what's getting done here. And ... then they won't write and demand that I present my excuse for "ignoring" them for the last two years.

Probably not a fun read. Might not be recommended policy. But it might make one or more of my weeks far more productive by not having someone write and chew me out for suffering from pain and being dumped on by life. I'm still standing. Sometimes it's with a cane. Sometimes it's bend over some. But I will not stand, in pain, and be treated like some low life scum just because someone is "frustrated". If you don't go up and spit on people, don't do it with a keyboard either.

Thank all of you friends who have been amazingly supportive. I never planned to be a broken down old hulk. Never planned on so many left turns in life ... just by staying in the same place for 32 years and working hard. But ... that's life. And, I'm making the most of it. I might get it all done, eventually. I might not. But ... it's not for lack of trying.

Sincerely,
Gary

I would liked not to make a
comment but, I need to let you know that I loved the " broken down old Hulk" metafor.

Thank you Julio. I do try to entertain.

Disclosure: Julio has been a wonderful friend and client for many years. He's still patiently waiting for a lot of work. All the while offering encouragement. In fact ... I got a text from him today ... Congratulating me for finishing yet another gun. It wasn't his gun ... but he sent good will. And then, I swear ... The next time I walked into the house I got both barrels right between the eyes. Because this other guy didn't see his being finished. It's holidays, year change, or when I finish a gun. That's when I get blasted. I can count on 1) death. 2) taxes. 3) and getting chewed out when I finish something.

Julio ... Thank you my friend, for being a gentleman. You have actually gotten ignored at times when I've tried to make others happy. I do believe I will be changing that policy. I've never bought the idea that the most irritating should get the best service. I've tried to write a bunch of poison mails off to people having a bad day. Or, someone's family member laughing at them for their patience. But I'm going to start recalling these crappy mails that steal half a day from everyone else. I'm human, and when I've been running a lathe with a splitting headache ... only to go in to my desk and find that someone is "frustrated"; they're going into a different group of people and projects. And it won't be at the front pushing aside everyone else.

Thanks Julio. Hey ... I assembled handles today in order to cast that prototype mold I found. Made the decision to work on yours right after I left the desk after answering the other guy. . I'm in the shop now, and casting those twin tails for you.

Gary

Julio ... I cast a bunch and then measured them for .312". So; that was for an earlier trial barrel.

I then cast some #119 mold. You can try them again. They are about .315" as cast.

I'm gonna cast a few # 120 single and double tails.

Gary

Julio,
I cast both single tail and double tails from molds 119 and 120. I'll send them marked. It will make a good test session for you.

Gary

Yes the Internet is such a blessing/curse, and small minded, Frustrated people will Always abuse it.


Rick G.

Hi Rick,
You've been a friend for a long time. Waiting for that Bison, and never complaining. In fact, I recall that you have traveled to multiple shows and shoots. We've had good conversations. You have participated in the forum. You realize that was encouraging to me. You've bought small items I offered for sale, on at least three occasions. Maybe more. Buying something else, from a guy that's owed you work for quite a few years; is friendship. I've appreciated your concern for my well being. Thank you.
Gary

So, all is normal eh?

Yeah Jerry, I'm good. You?

Hi Gary, I've dealt with this sort of attitude in my work. I would never hear from people for a job well done... that 100 year old pocket watch kept great time for years... never had a call back as to it's fine timing and accuracy.... sustained a drop onto the floor and managed to keep going. Only when things didn't go as they expected did i get feedback and it was often not good. Most appreciate what i do and i'm satisfied with that and my mind has an amazing way of glazing over the B.S. I have found like you that the internet and email have bothered me the most. The most rude,arrogant people have found me somehow in the past and i would try to rationalize.... maybe i'm reading too much into the attitude. As a result i've kinda stayed away from most of those means of commuication. Not retreating, but there are so many good people out there with which to share my thoughts and interests.
Hope your feeling better and really don't take it personal.
Just let it slide
Steve

Hi Gary,

Thanks for your kind words and to be honest, you have been there giving support to me on difficult times as well. I do appreciate your work even if it's not for me. Your rifles are art pieces worth of admiring. I also enjoy seeing how you do bring ideas into reality. It's amazing how you can create something functional and beautiful from raw materials. I do feel proud for knowing you and for having the chance to be a friend.

Hi Steve.

Well, I guess well need that EMP attack for us to go back to face to face meetings in our shops.

You know the part that gets me? After five paragraphs of laying you out as every kind of dirt bag, they toss on that they "understand what I've gone through" over the last several years. Really?

Funny the blindness that comes with being angry. Did it ever occur that every issue befalling business in this country also hit me? I can look at two lost homes from my driveway. I have no desire to see three. The court gave me my parents estate hopeless mess to solve, just as the values crashed. Attorney fees didnt crash at the same time. Wife's business down 80%. $2 doesn't pay a $10 debt. But hey ... "you SAID by this date!".

We went and grabbed something to eat. Then, I went back to work. But, no ... It doesn't really roll off. It just makes working a winter night more lousy.

Thanks for a good word though. Good to hear from you.

Gary

Hi Gary, I hope you are holding on to the vicious emails and foul letters so you have material for your up coming reality show...

Airgun A---oles
Breaking Barnes
Carroll County Pneumatics
Pneumatic Nymphos
Sons of AirGuns

You just have to get your PR man to come up with the right name. Oh yes, and you'll have to hire a dim witted relation to belittle and cuss.

Just helping with plan B.

On a happier note, I spent about an hour wiping down and studying some of the Barnes knives I've gathered. Like your guns, each a unique artistic piece.

Kent

Kent! You sly devil. You are a producer too! With a vision for quality programing like that ... My faith in society is restored!

Why, yes I do keep these nasty-grams. However; I don't seem to have any from you. What is it ... two guns, at least; from the ledger you are waiting on?

I didn't mention Jerry has one on the ledger too (although he's been sneaking molds and sizing dies out of the shop for years ... I think he's hedging his bets ...


Gary

Well at least you warned us about that cup of coffee. I just got to this post, when I was already half way through my cup of tea. Should have just got up an made another one first.

If you put Gary on TV he would end up buying a CNC machine like all the build shows on TV. And that would take the magic away.

You hang in there Gary, I've got complete faith in you. Dory

I will say it again. Your heart and soul, they do not deserve, and I still have that Sam Yang air rifle if they are so restless. Ship that to them and watch their nasty email pop up. Just a thought, and you will never see anything like that from me. An opinion from a moderate person. Hope you are well and to all of Gary,s friend,s, we will see through the year,s that some do not deserve the creation that has become Barnes Pneumatic

Amazing, isn't it, how fierce and abrasive an E-mail can be when the person who wrote it would virtually NEVER act that way in person. Even if the "broken-down old hulk" was the proverbial 98 lb. weakling instead, I'll bet you wouldn't get a fraction of the venom and vitriol if it was face-to-face. It's not just a Barnes thing either, there just seems to be something about the nature of the internet that brings out the worst in people.

Perhaps it's the perception of anonymity, or the impersonal nature of clicking away at a keyboard instead of committing words to paper the old-fashioned way. When you had to compose and write a letter by hand, find an envelope, address, stamp, and mail it in person it took a deliberate, concerted effort to verbally abuse or insult someone via the mail. It's just too easy to pound out a casual diatribe and send it on its way when you're using E-mail, and the instantaneous nature of the medium is also a factor. I'll bet that if you had a 12 hour delay on electronic communications where you had a mandatory cooling-down period before a message was sent, a lot of stuff that people snap out in the heat of the moment would get edited down or deleted.

I also blame pop culture for glorifying interpersonal conflict and emphasizing the nastier side of human nature. The new slew of "reality TV" shows are only the latest example, but they're particularly egregious when it comes to nastiness. I'm sure the producers of those inane shows think it's a harmless way to inject "excitement" into what would otherwise be a fairly boring episode, but the reality is that they're skewing people’s perceptions of acceptable behavior. They deliberately foment disorder and dissention between "cast members", and their intrusive presence alone has got to be a continual low-level irritant all by itself. They're somehow made the bitchy, abrasive "Jersey-licious" attitude the new model for kids to emulate, which is NOT boding well for our society. The reality is that most people’s lives are pretty boring and normal almost all of the time, but nobody particularly wants to waste their time watching that on TV. Since actual "reality" isn't meeting their required level of drama, they obviously think that they have to interject it into an otherwise mundane situation.

So...does this excuse the fact that otherwise normal adults seem to think it's OK to act like petulant, bratty caricatures of teenagers whenever they get behind a keyboard? Of course not, but it does perhaps explain why it seems to be getting worse. I’m sure that NOBODY is more frustrated with the delays than you are yourself. No amount of bitching, moaning, or complaining over the internet is going to change your personal situation one bit, at least not for the positive. All its doing is helping to take the wind out of your sails and adding to your mental stress level one e-mail at a time. The old saw “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” is obviously but one more casualty of the electronic age.

Perhaps you should get a parakeet, so you could print out the most vitriolic of the diatribes and consign them to duty as bird cage liners. Or maybe Kelly could have the kids make them into paper-mache, and form them into 3-D targets for use at the range. At least that way you’d get some positive use out of them.

Sean, you just nail it

I’m sure that NOBODY is more frustrated with the delays than you are yourself. No amount of bitching, moaning, or complaining over the internet is going to change your personal situation one bit, at least not for the positive. All its doing is helping to take the wind out of
your sails and adding to your mental stress level one e-mail at a time.

Hi Sean,

You nailed that one. It's a matter of people not knowing when to stop. If people start out with a legit issue to discuss ... a few will not be happy until they demoralize you, break your knees, and then burn down your house. With me, everybody can start with the legit position that I'm late. Very late. From there, some people believe that de-humanizes me. One additional little spark, and there are now no limits to how far they can go in really letting me have it. I can never please them, and they are never satisfied with their spite.

It only takes a few - here and there. Present a situation that does not have a clean immediate solution. And then demand one. And then escalate. Repeat. Repeat. Until I make a dumb mistake in the shop and get hurt. And then, they'll demand to know what I'm going to do about the additional delay. That's the way hyenas take down a lion. They just tag team and worry them until they are exhausted. Quite an accomplishment. Then what's been gained.

I've said this before ... but might bear saying again. I'm an artist. A craftsman. Self taught engineer. I'm not Oprah. I don't claim to be Dr. Phil. I deal with people as best I can. But the time I'm dealing with people, I don't get a dime for. And, I'm not working when I'm dealing with people. But, you don't get far into dealing with people, before some let you know what a disappointment you are to them. Not really your work, your product, the thing you are gifted at .... but ... "you didn't SAY that right". "You didn't write to me". I feel like I'm in the back seat of a car and someone is shouting ... "Mom ... he's TOUCHING me!!!" And all I want to do it to get back to the shop and work.

So; I think I will ...

Thanks Sean. I appreciate your friendship.

Gary

I'm gonna add this one thing, which you may or may not believe:

When I get an inquiry, perhaps a nasty one; I answer it right away. There's no new information that I haven't posted here ... since this is a daily blog. But I fully, and accurately answer all questions. And I offer a full accounting for the reasons I give. And then ... it makes absolutely no difference at all.

What? Of course it makes a difference. You've immediately responded, and fully answered their mail! But, no ... it doesn't matter. Because they simply do not CARE about any of the reasons or anything in my letter. That's all my problem and probably a bunch of crap. They know everything in advance, anyway. They know why I'm late. They know I'm doing everything I can do. They know I'm going thru the same poor economy that they are. They know that there is no sane or rational way to predict what my health condition is going to be over the next few months. They just want me to make up a date ... so that, when that date gets here ... they can call me a liar. When I give a full account of why I just cannot conjur up a fantasy date ... it just makes them boil. Because they want to go to the front, make themselves my worst nightmare, and they could not care less about if I live or die ... so long as they win.

You think I'm kidding, don't you. If so, then you've never seen the line that exists between love and hate. It's razor thin, believe me. I hope you never see it.

Honesty, sincerity, honor, best efforts ... all useless against anger. They just enrage it. And then, I can go out and engrave. Perhaps do a bit of tricky math. And people tell me I shouldn't have coffee before I shoot. HA-HA-HAHHHHH!!!!!!! Are you kidding ... I could cut diamonds with lions chasing me. That's a swing in a hammock compared to answering e-mail. Hah!!!

Gary :

I know the kind of person you're describing. From some of the other responses it is clear others have as well. I think that if you think about it there are a lot more decent friends as your clients then these individuals. It's not productive to dwell on these people. Just keep plugging away and take care of yourself. We'll be here.

God Bless,

Karl

Thanks Karl,

You're one of the good guys. And, as you say ... most are. So; I guess I am just supposed to shake it off. And, I try. But, you know how fate is. Everything comes in pairs or threes. Until is just drags you down.

You know ... the elves are really not alot of support here. So; it's good to talk with you guys.

Gary

Kent,

That was hysterical......and right on as well

I find myself in full agreement with the rest of y'all....

it is AMAZING what idiots people are on the Internet, real Keyboard Kommandos!!!!!!!

The instant gratification culture strikes again...and again......and again.......

Sadly, I doubt things are going to get better as time marches on

Hi Gary


I understand you pain from your wife Kelly's point of view. My wife has suffer with chronic pain for years and I have watch as her so call best friends have disappeared. It starts with unanswers calls, then no reponse to messages and so on. As bad as it may sound, I wish everyone had someone in their life that has gone through a similiar experience.

Hi Reggie,

Thanks much. I do understand that point. It is equally difficult for the person who feels like such a rain cloud because they hurt alot, or are pressured, etc. You are doing your best. It's not enough. There's nothing the wife or husband can do to alter the reality. You accomplish something really fine. Next thing thru the wire is some downer.

No wonder most companies just cut off their customers and give them an automated phone tree. I've always prided myself on amazing responce time to people. And still ... I get the long face because I "didn't write" to someone sitting there in silence, half a world away.

I've clearly failed in presenting what I do here. Prior to me accepting an order ... it's all charming that this lone artist creates all this wonderful stuff from an idea and raw materials. At some point after that, the lone artist is supposed to have an IT department, a shipping department, a complaint department, a records and bookkeeing department, an accountant, a webmaster, phone bank, and a guy that just "fluffs up" people that become "frustrated".

That would be Dave's job!

Gary,

I don't read as often as I would like and I certainly don't write much. But, I'm ALWAYS impressed by what I see and read.
Life throws us all curves and I don't get to shoot as often as I would like either--but my Barnes rifles do get used. I am blessed to have 2 Barnes rifles already, and one day I'm sure to be blessed with my ledger items as well. If I was just looking for a utilitarian air rifle, I could have oredered something commercially available. I am looking for true artwork in addition to functional airguns. I choose to wait, patiently.
I appreciate your improvements in design since I placed my original orders and I look forward to taking advantage of the latest technology when it is my turn. The quality is worth the wait.

Thank you for your efforts and I pray for your health,

Scott