Some friends are coming over this weekend. Kelly and I noticed that large pine tree with the funky damage half way up ..... was leaning more. Nasty!!! That has to come down. It's dangerous.

And so we began plotting where/how to fell it. Will it reach that fence? What's the geometry again to figure height ....? Will it tear the limbs off that Oak? Will it break as it falls?

Yeah, it would tear out those clothesline poles. Let me pull them out. I'll get the tractor. I have to move the truck and stuff in the lane first.

And the tractor is hooked to the chipper. Gotta move that where I need it next and disconnect it.

Once I do the move and disconnect ... I see the heavy bags of debris to haul with the tractor bucket.

Better bury that part of the Ethernet Cable that crosses the road to the tractor shed. Where's that pick ....

Right, should get a coat of lacquer on that shelf that's set up outside for same ...

Take the debris to its drop off ... then go find a chain to pull the line posts. I can use them in the target backer area. They will have concrete footing on them. Bucket hydraulics will pull them.

Ok, they are out. Better haul them to the target area while they are chained ...

Deliver the posts and drop off. Ah .... what WAS I doing ....?

The TREE!!!!! Right. We go there. I begin eyeing up the fall path .... darned bee! ..... Swish. It should clear this, but will destroy that nicely shaped live oak about 10-15 years old. I could pull that some. Where is that rope .... And get the chainsaw please.

I fill gas and oil. Take the rope. I need a ladder ...

Get the ladder. Tie off the tree. Pull it back and secure.

Eye it up. That will work. DARNED BEE!!! Huh??? What???? Where???

Bunch of bees 18" from the base of the tree. A ground hive!!! Great.

We are loosing day and I just have to get back to the shop. I'll get the propane monster Dragon Breath!!! 500,000 BTUs in a hand held wand. I seriously toast me some bee hive!!!! And they come back. And I wipe 10-20 out of the air. As they flame out ... more come in. I let them gather over the crater, then I toast another 10. I do this 17 times!!!! ARE you kidding me!!!!!

After one flaming of the ground, a TOAD appears in a blurrrr....... and sets a new long jump record, for speed and distance!!!! What!!??? The Bees are turning into Toads???!!! HOW did he keep from being fried????? I mean, ten square feet have been reduced to pure carbon atoms .... with bees hovering overhead. Ah ... Success. No ... wait .... ......

Let it set tonight. I'll get swarmed if I do more. Hey ... Wasn't I doing something ....???

Gary



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/04/2015 06:50AM by barnespneumatic.

Unplanned events ..... As long as you can remember your initial chore your good .
I had the same thing happen with bee's only my lawn mower tire fell into ground hive . They hate that internal combustion engine running . I did come away with very few actual stings . ( lucky I'm not allergic) I do NOT leave the apples pile up on the ground any more either .
So did you ever get the tree down ?

Thanks
Kurt

Hi Kurt,

That's it! I let the apples pile up under that pine tree! Duh - I feel so stupid ....

Oh well, I can't think of everything ....



Gary

Yep Gary,
Around here we call that the "ooh, shiney" syndrome. It's about as close to ADHD as some people get . Hang in there, and before you know it you will have cleaned up everything but what you started to do. Enjoyed the story - lol!
Later,
Jeff

Interesting story, but what happened to the pine tree? I do have an idea, you can ask you friends to help you finish what you just started.

Great. Thanks Julio.

Need someone to shimmy up the leaning, rotten tree, over the bee hive ... And chain saw off the top. We can video record it for "World's Dumbest" on Cable!!!

Or ... I can put crime scene tape around it and wait for the next breeze.

Haha. Thanks for being willing.

Gary

Hey, you're way out in the country, just pick the spot where you planned to cut it and keep shooting at it until it falls off.

I know a guy who makes these big-bore airguns, they'd be perfect for that kind of thing.

I can't wait to see THAT video .

Your a great writer Gary. Forgot about the tree myself until you revisited halfway into the story. I recall trying all makeshift solutions when i had a limb hanging from a tree from an early ice storm we had a few years back. Long story short.... the limb is still there and has become a nice nest for squirrels and such. We tried attaching tools, hammers and wrench to the rope as we flung it up and around the limb to see it we could pull it down. I don't recommend this as you can easily take yourself out if the trajectory is straight up.This time of year in good light you can see them tools dangling from the tree still. I leave it for the next generation to handle.
Steve

Sound's like a job for one those custom made shotgun shell's.

Hopefully you won't be walking under that tree when the rope finally parts and the hammer heads back to earth.