Hi Guys.



Here's what I've continued working on this morning.

I really, honestly do try to keep the forum pages interesting, filled with a bit of humor, hood stories, and include conversations with anyone who shares here. I've noted many times, the fact that I write well - helps to entertain, but also brings down grief on me as I work. I don't "Sound Sick or Hurt". And, if I can do what's in the picture .... then I can darned well do anything.

This morning, I feel like my left foot has been twisted around a couple of times. I tore something in my knee when I fell years ago, and I strained it when weed whacking last week. Really hangs on. The outside of that leg is about half numb all the time from the nerve pinch in my spine. My feet are about 25% numb all the time. So I misstep often. There's a point to this. Please hang on.

My neck has been killing me. I had a double cervical Fussion about 15 years ago. I'm quite worried something may be wrong there. I have a big painful lump on the left side of my neck, and though I keep it covered in BenGay and meds, it seriously hurts. It also cracks and clacks like a bag of dominos most of the time. It worries me. A Specialist had me get an MRI last week. No results yet.

My right eye has spots in my vision. A big black one and a bunch of small wiggly clearish ones. That worries me. That eye is also a good bit weaker now due to a forming cataract.

I'm sure you can imagine it's not fun to list all of these things. I have another far more worrisome one we are making an appointment for now. I won't go there now. But I'll add in the chronic fatigue the meds cause, and mention that my Blood Pressure doesn't like the constant pain.

So; do I bounce out of bed joyful? Well, I try. I get up a little before 7, and often go to bed 12:30-1am. I put in at least 12 hours a day on business. And, part of the business is dealing with customers. I just want to know WHAT more exactly, some would like to see me give. I don't have to get many PMs that detail exactly how many years it's been and the exact added up total of the piece purchased. Very reasonable. But I know this. It doesn't heal anything or add days to my week. THE only thing I do is take my wife to Church 2-3 Sunday's a month, and see our family for a few hours that Sunday afternoon. We leave early. If I can, I come back to the shop when I get home.

Most people can read and see that I'm dealing with a crappy dealt hand of cards, as best I can. But, it only takes the one here, one there, when I'm dragging my butt through the day, or engraving thru a migraine, to just plain make it all worse.

I realize that if the customer is hanging on, then there's a family member or a "friend" taunting them about how that guy is screwing you. Probably faking it. I'm telling you, it's just a no win. I respond promptly - and then get slapped down because it's been X years! Or, get this .... the customer has been feeling bad lately, and this is bothering them.

Guys, I just cannot predict the future. I had no idea my neck was going to go rogue. No idea my eye was going to fade. No idea what this new worrisome painful feeling is going to lead to. I'm pretty sick of it. Completely willing to have some of it be healed. But, I just keep getting up. Can the few please just allow me to work? It's all I do. There just plain isn't any more. If you can arrange for shop tools and processes to go quicker, I'm in. I simply want to ask you to consider. I already tell about everything I do. Read the darned stuff. I get mails proudly telling me that they haven't read the forum for six months, guess you are all better now, where's my project? Where do you start? Or, I haven't asked for six months - hope your shops are all done now - where's my project?

Just doesn't push the whole mess along.

I don't want to make the forum into a moaning blog. Let me keep it as fun for readers as I can. Let me answer people courteously without being fearful that I'm sneaking in an enjoyable minute. I assure you, I remain properly ground down much of the time.

You may note that I'm still here. Still working. It cost money to be run down in America. A lot of money. I have to make enough to cover expenses. That's darned hard. Ok. That's enough. But, take note: sitting in the dark mad, is your choice. Others that have spent more, waited longer, and had less attention, are friends and interact. May even wish me well from time to time, without there being a barbed hook in their we'll wish.

Thanks for reading. In closing, I was faster earlier, but my work has never been better. Old Bent Guys Rule.

Gary

Amen Brother, amen!
An old bent guy,
Jeff

Thanks Jeff

BTW - I owe Jeff a Bison .... We were both young when he ordered it.

Gary,

Keep doing what your doing. For those who wish to know the situation, it has been well documented here over the years. We're with you.

Another old bent guy,

Karl

Thank you Karl,

That's very much appreciated.

I owe Karl a couple of Grey Fox if my memory serves. I'll continue making them. You let me know when to stop Karl.



Gary

Having kept up with your updates online since long before there was a "rendezvous", I know that there have been many times when you have delivered more than was expected because you considered your customers to be friends as well. You don't deliver last-generation specs on todays rifles, even though they were originally ordered with the earlier performance numbers in mind. For one example, you certainly exceeded my expectations when I got the first of the sliding breech models with a rifled insert in addition to the smooth-bore barrel. Every new improvement costs you skull sweat and shop time that you'll likely never get back in financial terms, but you make them anyway. Nobody gets to choose their future health (with a few minor exceptions) any more than we get to choose our parents. Certainly nobody would choose to get old/bent/broken if there was any other option. One thing we DO get to choose is our friends, and one defining factor of friendship is how that person sticks with you when things get tough and the pickings get thin.

Hi Sean,

If you'd chistle that on my stone, I'd be grateful.

Thank you. Sincerely.

Gary

I don't think we're quite at that stage yet. Or if we are, I sure wish I'd have kept the original box since apparently that's all the true "collectors" care about anyway.

Besides, if you want a decent carving on your headstone some day I am definitely NOT the one you should rely on, unless the look you're going for is "roughly hacked into place by a spastic kindergartner of below average skill". Not even the magic sharpie is gonna be able to compensate for that.